Life is "beautiful" #2

I put my laptop beside my head when you’re not in bed with me, not for the warmth, but for the radiation waves. The radiation waves have already infiltrated the waves in my brain and now they are friends with each other. Because of this, I often lose my footing while walking down the stairs at Dufferin subway station.

The waves have really heated, vibrated debates in my head like, What is the fastest route to the Royal Ontario Museum? . . . Read the Twilight saga, bleep bleep h-t-t-p- colon, backslash . . . Oh damn, maybe you should see a therapist . . . nah.

And then I have dreams about the day before. You’re in my dreams and so are all the other people that I find repulsively sexy. All the people that I secretly have crushes on that I see in the Laundromat and American Eagle are in them too. I am the most comfortable when acting in my dreams, but I only ever speak to the girl from the Laundromat. I say acting because I’d never do the things I say and do in my daydreams in my real daytime life, and I say confident because I’m not really behaving like myself. That’s why everyone likes me in my dreams. People want to kiss me and ask me for my phone number. People ask me if I like to drink bubble tea, and I say, “only if it’s from the C’est Bon Bubble Tea shop.”

I say, “You look lovely,” to the Laundromat girl in my dream, and she’s flipping through some ridiculous chick-flick magazine and drinking some name-brand drink. I ask myself why am I even interested in someone drinking from a name-brand cup, because that’s so cliché. I try and make a joke, and she calls me a crude name but my heart doesn’t twist like it normally would. Normally, I’d throw a jab at something to do with her physical appearance; but then we wouldn’t get to make out like we do in every single one of my dreams.

I put my cell phone and my radio beside my laptop too, all lined up on my mattress. The more electronics the more waves, and the more waves the better my confidence in my dreams, and then I’m happy. My legs shake when descending the stairs outside, I don’t know why that is, but I can deal with that. I could never deal with making an actual fool out of myself in my normal mind in the normal dirty world. I just like the humming sounds and the neon lights I see when I close my eyes; they look like the lines in pictures taken by cameras set to the long exposure setting.