Life is "beautiful" #1

When I feed my fish I put more than just one pinch of food in the water and then think, “they don’t know any better.” They swim to the surface and began to make the flakes smaller with their circular mouths.

And then I think of what it might to be like to be a fish. I wouldn’t be able to Google things, well, I could try, but I’d either suffocate or get electrocuted. The sparks would burn my poor fins and they’d lose their shine. What if I was an aluminum fish, but not like a robot. Well, only robotic in the sense that I’d speak with an extremely monotone voice and I’d have pre-programmed emotions that I wished that I could control. Someone would ask me out on a date and I’d say yes in my robot voice but I’d want to say no because the person was sweaty and sweat could drip on one of my electrical parts and that would suck.

I’d rather be plugged in to a wall in a really eclectic room and watch someone else’s life play on a screen for me. Even though they had a harder life than me, they are happier than me.
And then I’d think of myself in cartoon, I’m still a fish and everyone else is a human. I’d try to talk to them and be cool and the most popular girl would say, “Don’t you have to have to be somewhere?” like Pet Valu? “No, like gasping for air in a puddle somewhere,” and then they would all laugh, and I’d laugh too, but only because I didn’t understand that ‘gasping for air in a puddle’ was actually slang for we don’t want to hang out with you. Some other kid tries to be my friend and tells me that ‘gasping for air in a puddle’ is sexual innuendo and that the girl has a crush on me. I say “Oh yeah?” but inside I’m thinking: bullshit. Goldfish are bullshit.

I feel really sad when I look at the castle in the fish tank; it’s just a castle with an entrance that is also an exit. Then I think that I’m really thankful for doors, but only when I’m a human, not a fish, because getting stuck inside a fish castle with a door would be a bitch to get out of. I don’t like to let people in, unless we’re just going to watch TV sitting on opposite sides of the room. And it can only be the TV show about them, because my life program was cancelled when I realized that I have to keep lying to myself to maintain any form of sanity or normalcy.

Something about watching a movie of someone's life on an underwater television makes me content.