failure

I'm in the kitchen and my sister comes downstairs into the kitchen.
"I had the best dream. I dreamed that I was riding in a coach bus that could jump over buildings. How is that even possible?"

How is that even possible?


Why can't I have nice things? Nice in the sense of being content - not nice in the sense of casual sex and food tasting really good. I don't ask that question in the mirror. I did once though. I asked, "Why can't I have nice things?" in an acquaintance's powder room. This was after I had opened their cabinets and touched everything inside once. I touched the Viagra with my middle finger. I killed a spider that emerged from a dusty corner of the cabinet. I wiped my finger on the wall and left a brown and red streak. I thought it looked like something else.

The towels are teal with a red streak. No one had even called out to ask if I was okay. I could be doing incriminating things in here. I could be incriminating. I open a jar of something. There is powder inside the jar. I blow inside it and a puff of white comes out. The puff of white looks like a puff of white. How ironic. Or maybe it looked like a pillow. Happy now?

Why can't I have nice things? I look out the bathroom window which is open a crack at the bottom. I see into another bathroom. A tree is in front of the other window but I can still see inside. I see two people, they are kissing. I keep my hands at my sides. This is so stupid. I want to climb out of the tree and tell them something, or ask them a really dumb qusetion - anything actually. "Hey, did you guys even get Lost? Because I think the whole thing was actually so simple." and I would put emphasis on the 'so'. What could it hurt? Maybe my crotch - from sitting on the tree.

I open the window more than a crack and put on leg out. I am on the tree. I can hear the couple kissing because their window is wide open. It sounds like wet suction. "Hey," I whisper. They stop kissing. The man turns to me.

"What are you doing out there, you freak?"
"Did you guys see Lost?"
"I think you're lost!" the girl covers her chest even though she is wearing a shirt. Stupid.

"Climb down and go home."

I climb down one branch and fall down the rest. I don't hit anything on the way down, just the ground. I hit the ground hard and there are rocks.